Almost everyone goes through some form of hibernation mode during winter and fall into a dating rut, hiding themselves away with promises to ‘snap out of it when it gets warm’. Well, guess what? It is definitely warmer now and it’s time to put your money where your mouth is. To break that dating rut, you have to shake things up and also put a plan of action together.
I believe that in life, having a plan with goal specific short term and long term action points are highly effective in actually attaining those goals. This is applicable and also highly effective when it comes to dating.
Here are my 5 tips to getting you back into the game:
1. Set a Goal
Goal setting is the #1 way to accomplish anything. This is the starting point because this will drive your actions. Without clear direction of what you want from your dating life, is like getting behind the wheel without knowing where you want to go. You might eventually get there, but with many detours, rerouting and backtracking, and a lot of wasted time and energy (Love Example: I will go to 10 new places each month to meet eligible men).
2. Make an Intention List
You would be surprised to learn that setting your intentions on something, like for example, I want to lose 10 pounds by a specific date, will get you there faster than just having a ‘pie in the sky’ attitude about it. Intentions drive actions. The best approach is: clearly state your intention about a specific goal and giving yourself a deadline. (Love Example: I will meet 5 desirable dates by June 1st by being more approachable and smiling more).
3. Write a Commitment Letter
Writing things down has been proven to be a powerful tool in accomplishing anything in life and this holds true for your love life also. It has been proven that when you write a Commitment Letter to yourself and sign it, it becomes more concrete and tangible as opposed to just a promise you make to yourself. Post your signed and dated commitment letter on your fridge or somewhere you will see it every day. It will serve as a daily reminder of what your goal is and keep you on track in fulfilling that promise and keeping the commitment to yourself. (Love Example: Write down your 3 top dating goals with a due date in your commitment letter, sign, date and post it)
4. Progress Report
Keeping a progress report that charts your efforts will give you a visual of how far you’ve come and how far you have to go to meet your goal. This is an incredibly powerful motivational technique that has shown to be invaluable for success and this includes dating. Make a daily progress report with the following: a) Goal for the day, b) Was it done, c) Course of action if you did not meet your daily goal and a new due date, d) Initial the new due date and move forward. This will allow you to have off days but not to allow yourself to wallow in your misstep. Beating up on yourself when things don’t go as planned, will not accomplish anything. It’s best to assess where you went wrong, acknowledge it, make a new plan and move FORWARD.
5. Reward
It’s been shown that having a payoff/reward, whether it’s that pair of killer shoes you’ve been eyeing, or splurging on a massage, will keep you most motivated, especially on those days when your energy is sapped and you begin to lapse on your commitments. It doesn’t have to be anything big or expensive, but something tangible andsomething you really want that makes you feel special. Ultimately, it is whatever that will keep you motivated to stay on track in your search for NEW LOVE!
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