8 Science-Backed Ways to Flirt Better (Ladies Only)

Knowing how to flirt is both an art and a science. Here is what works and what doesn’t according to science:

1. Ask interesting questions, but don’t interrogate.Most people’s favorite topic of conversation? Themselves. A recent study conducted by the Harvard University Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience Lab found that levels of dopamine (a.k.a. the happy hormone) increase when subjects talk about themselves, versus when they talk about the same subject but in relation to other people. Bottom line: Waxing on about yourself is inherently pleasurable. So when you’re on a date, inquire about topics that genuinely interest you, but find common ground. Build on what he says. Avoid firing out checklists or predictable questions like,  “Where are you from?” and “What do you do?” Ask open-ended questions instead.

2. Uncross Your Arms. Non-verbal cues speak volumes, and the right body language projects confidence and warmth. Make eye contact, smile, laugh, lean in.

3. Wear natural-looking makeup. Studies show that men prefer a lighter makeup look on women—more natural than what most women think. Resist the urge to wear a dark, smoky eye or daring red lip, especially if that’s not in your comfort zone.

4. Actively listen. Truly listening involves hearing what the person is saying and also paying attention to their non-verbal communication. Respond by paraphrasing and reflecting on the conversation to move it forward—it shows you genuinely care about what they have to say. Resist the temptation to interrupt immediately and hijack the conversation: “Oh you like skiing? Me too! I just came back from heli-skiing in British Columbia.”

5. Avoid your favorite topic. It’s counterintuitive but makes sense—otherwise you’ll probably end up talking too much.

6. Accentuate the positive. Highlighting the good stuff going on in your life enables the other person to see you in the best possible light. But don’t over do it—check yourself, and assess whether you are dominating the conversation.

7. Ladies, be direct. Research suggests men appreciate a direct statement of intention, “Let’s get together next Monday,” more than a subtle request or sexual innuendo. Studies show that oftentimes, women don’t immediately provide cues that express interest, thereby leaving the potential date in the dark.

8. Exit gracefully. Don’t let the conversation drag. If you feel an awkward silence coming on, politely excuse yourself. Leave them wanting more.

Source: http://perk.fm/4sc6f

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5 Tips on How to Up Your Game Plan for Summer Love!

It has been a long and dreary winter, and now that summer is here, I know, like me, you are all ready to shed those heavy winter clothes and ready yourself for the long awaited Season of Love-Summer!

Almost everyone goes through some form of hibernation mode during winter and fall into a dating rut, hiding themselves away with promises to ‘snap out of it when it gets warm’. Well, guess what? It is definitely warmer now and it’s time to put your money where your mouth is. To break that dating rut, you have to shake things up and also put a plan of action together.

I believe that in life, having a plan with goal specific short term and long term action points are highly effective in actually attaining those goals. This is applicable and also highly effective when it comes to dating.
Here are my 5 tips to getting you back into the game:

1. Set a Goal

Goal setting is the #1 way to accomplish anything. This is the starting point because this will drive your actions. Without clear direction of what you want from your dating life, is like getting behind the wheel without knowing where you want to go. You might eventually get there, but with many detours, rerouting and backtracking, and a lot of wasted time and energy (Love Example: I will go to 10 new places each month to meet eligible men).

2. Make an Intention List

You would be surprised to learn that setting your intentions on something, like for example, I want to lose 10 pounds by a specific date, will get you there faster than just having a ‘pie in the sky’ attitude about it. Intentions drive actions. The best approach is: clearly state your intention about a specific goal and giving yourself a deadline. (Love Example: I will meet 5 desirable dates by June 1st by being more approachable and smiling more).

3. Write a Commitment Letter

Writing things down has been proven to be a powerful tool in accomplishing anything in life and this holds true for your love life also. It has been proven that when you write a Commitment Letter to yourself and sign it, it becomes more concrete and tangible as opposed to just a promise you make to yourself. Post your signed and dated commitment letter on your fridge or somewhere you will see it every day. It will serve as a daily reminder of what your goal is and keep you on track in fulfilling that promise and keeping the commitment to yourself. (Love Example: Write down your 3 top dating goals with a due date in your commitment letter, sign, date and post it)

4. Progress Report

Keeping a progress report that charts your efforts will give you a visual of how far you’ve come and how far you have to go to meet your goal. This is an incredibly powerful motivational technique that has shown to be invaluable for success and this includes dating. Make a daily progress report with the following: a) Goal for the day, b) Was it done, c) Course of action if you did not meet your daily goal and a new due date, d) Initial the new due date and move forward. This will allow you to have off days but not to allow yourself to wallow in your misstep. Beating up on yourself when things don’t go as planned, will not accomplish anything. It’s best to assess where you went wrong, acknowledge it, make a new plan and move FORWARD.

5. Reward

It’s been shown that having a payoff/reward, whether it’s that pair of killer shoes you’ve been eyeing, or splurging on a massage, will keep you most motivated, especially on those days when your energy is sapped and you begin to lapse on your commitments. It doesn’t have to be anything big or expensive, but something tangible andsomething you really want that makes you feel special. Ultimately, it is whatever that will keep you motivated to stay on track in your search for NEW LOVE!

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