Showing posts with label low self esteem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label low self esteem. Show all posts

Thursday, February 4, 2016

5 Ways People Change When They Quit Social Media


There’s no denying that social media is all around us. To many people, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are the most consistent presences in their lives. But this doesn’t mean that social media is inescapable. Many people actively choose to stay off of these platforms, opting instead for a more visceral experience in life. And they just may be on to something. When people cut the cord and start actively living, good things start happening.

1. They gain confidence

We’ve become so accustomed to using social media and electronics to communicate with others that, for some, face-to-face interaction has become incredibly difficult. While it’s easy to write an email to a supervisor or reach out to new clients through Twitter, it’s much more difficult to do so in person. But that’s only because it takes practice to improve and strengthen your interpersonal skills.
As you stop relying on social media to make person-to-person interaction easier and more simplified, you’ll allow yourself to expand your comfort zone. The more you work on social interaction, the easier it becomes.

2. They don’t constantly seek validation

Of course, everyone likes to know their opinions and suggestions are appreciated and valued, but the ubiquity of social media has made this validation an obsession for some. I know that I’ve found myself checking my phone over and over again after making a witty comment or sending out a well thought-out tweet to see how many people “liked” or “shared” my message. In reality, I know the people who “liked” my comment simply clicked a button and moved on with their lives.
Those who stay off media seek out actual validation where it matters; but they don’t become overly obsessed with being accepted that it ends up taking over their lives.

3. They can focus on what’s important to them

Social media is full of, for lack of a better term, fluff. Even if you don’t subscribe to any pages yourself, your friends are constantly sharing articles and websites that, first of all, may or may not be factual, and second of all, probably don’t interest you in the slightest.
So many of us (again, myself included) spend way too much time wading through headlines that we don’t care about in search of one or two articles that might benefit us in some way. When you stay off social media, you can actively seek out the things in life that interest you, and end up learning something pertinent to your life in the process.

4. They communicate more effectively

I spoke a little before about how those who don’t use social media are actually more social in person. But not only are they more social, they’re also better at communicating entirely. A tweet or a Facebook status are made up of simple words on a computer or phone screen; there’s almost no way to effectively communicate the underlying tone of the message.
When you’re face-to-face with the person you’re speaking to, the mood of the conversation becomes crystal clear based on facial expression, body language, and tone of voice.

5. They become more aware and live in the moment

Let’s be serious: most of us have used social media as a crutch at times. Think about those times you were waiting for a friend at the mall, or sitting on a bench waiting for a bus to arrive. Instead of taking in your surroundings, you probably took out your phone to mindlessly scroll through your various feeds, pretending to look busy. But by doing so, you miss out on so much of the world around you.
When you put your phone away, you start to appreciate even the little things in life that you never knew existed before.
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Thursday, October 16, 2014

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others—and Feel Happier!



"I generally find that comparison is the fast track to unhappiness."
— Jack Canfield

"Women are so unforgiving of themselves. We don't recognize our own beauty because we're too busy comparing ourselves to other people."
— Kelly Osbourne

One of the easiest ways to feel bad about oneself is to compare yourself unfavorably to others. We may be tempted to compare ourselves with those who have more accomplishments, seem more attractive, make more money, or boast more Facebook friends.

When you find yourself envious of what someone else has, and feel jealous, inferior or inadequate as the result, you’re having a negative social comparison moment.

Habitual negative social comparisons can cause a person to experience greater stress, anxiety, depression, and make self-defeating choices.
  
Two interesting notes about negative social comparison:


1.  Negative social comparison has elements of narcissism

When we wish to look, be, or have like others, we’re not really wishing for everything about that person, but only the idealized aspects of the individual. This idealized and grandiose perception of another is narcissistic in nature. Chances are, not even those whom you compare yourself with can live up to your idealized images of them. This is why so often when people spend some length of time with their “heroes,” “heroines,” “role models,” or “idols,” they discover that those whom they look up to also have weaknesses, flaws, difficulties and problems just like everyone else.


2.  It’s relatively easy to change from idealizing to humanizing

For example, you may wish that you have the perfect career and a lot of money like your manager Joe, or the good looks of your friend Kelly, or a wonderful romantic relationship like Samantha. Comparing yourself with them might cause you to feel somehow “lesser.” But when you look at their lives more objectively, you know that Joe has health problems and family issues, Kelly is actually insecure about her looks, and it took Samantha a painful divorce and many hard lessons before she found a compatible mate. Looking at them from a more balanced perspective, you realize there’s more than meets the eye, and that they’re human beings with their own share of challenges like you.
The Buddha reminds us that the four conditions in life which cause suffering are: birth, aging, illness, and death. No one, no matter how powerful, successful, wealthy, or fabulous they seem on the outside, can escape these truths. These conditions effectively make ALL of us equal. What’s left, then, are values which truly make our brief existence on this earth worthwhile: self-acceptance, quality relationships, and a meaningful life’s purpose. For each of these, the answers and our ability to realize them come from WITHIN. No external accomplishments, privileges, entitlements or materialism alone can achieve them. No superficial status, ranks, stations, or possessions are required to realize them.

"Try not to get lost in comparing yourself to others. Discover your gifts and let them shine!" 
— Jennie Finch

"To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself."
― Thich Nhat Hanh

Source: http://tinyurl.com/StopComparingYourselfToOthers

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