Showing posts with label self esteem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self esteem. Show all posts

Thursday, October 22, 2015

9 Characteristics Of Highly Desirable Women


The dictionaries define “Desirable” as “worth having or wanting; pleasant, excellent or fine.”
Any man or woman who has dreamed of a future has probably created an image of what he or she would desire most in their partner. And most women have probably wished to be more desirable at some point. While the world keeps hankering over what exactly are the characteristics of highly desirable women, the truth is that we can only speculate. The definition will keep evolving.
However, we can safely say that highly desirable women will likely have the following nine characteristics.

1. They don’t chase people

Highly desirable women would rather chase their own awesomeness, because they know running after people is just a waste of time. They also know that it is a much better idea to become better versions of their own selves. The world will take notice when they progress in their own lives.
They don’t have time for such chases because they are just too busy creating a better life for themselves. That’s what makes a woman more desirable — that carefree, confident attitude. They are complete in themselves.

2. They are in control of their emotions

You won’t find desirable women moping about every bad relationship or failure in their lives. Instead, they are always in control of their emotions. They don’t waste their time and energy in harboring useless emotions that won’t bring them progress.
Simply put, desirable women would much rather be a shoulder when needed than be a constant cry baby.

3. They avoid gossip

Desirable women would rather use their time productively than for indulging in petty gossip. Gossip and too much talking creates drama. Desirable women know this. Petty gossip, useless talking, and drama is for school girls — not the desirable women that we look up to.

4. They are not attention seekers

You will not see desirable women posting selfies constantly or changing their relationship statuses on social media with every crush. They don’t like to spam people with such trivialities. They would much rather be known and talked about for their real and meaningful achievements.
They believe in earning attention from like-minded people, not snatching it with constant updates on the happenings in their lives. They earn respect instead of asking for it. They believe in maintaining a mystery about their lives which only selected people can have access to.

5. They don’t lose themselves in their relationships

It’s not that they hold back. Desirable women don’t lose themselves to create happiness for someone else. They have a life of their own that goes beyond the relationship. They don’t cling to their boyfriends or girlfriends constantly.
They don’t lose sight of their goals and dreams for love. They don’t lose their identity. Desirable women make smart decisions about how much time they are willing to devote to their relationships and to their goals. They set their priorities. They let their relationships add to their lives — not become their whole lives.

6. They have hobbies and passions

Desirable women make massive efforts to become better at their hobbies and passions. You won’t find these women constantly procrastinating. They find out what they love doing and do it with finesse.
Desirable women don’t waste their lives with mindless addictions, like staring at their mobile phones all day. They use their time to take up hobbies and work on improving. Some of the most desirable women are the ones who care deeply about their hobbies. It defines them and makes them more interesting people.

7. They are fiercely intelligent

Intelligence does not always refer to IQ. Desirable women are fiercely intelligent in terms of their understanding of the world and its people. They have a certain kind of wisdom that comes from experience, from a plethora of mistakes and a life full of lessons.
They have impeccable understanding of life and themselves — something that really adds to their desirability. They are no strangers to deep conversation.

8. They are always graceful

Women who understand and take pride in their womenhood are the ones that know that grace and elegance are not qualities you compromise with. It’s not about their appearance but their aura. What makes them highly desirable is that they don’t worry about their physical shortcomings. They fix what they can and carry themselves with elegance and charm that only a lady can possess.
They dress well and know how to exude confidence. What makes this all the more easier is that desirable women know that grace does not come with expensive fashion choices. It comes with self confidence.

9. They are brilliant communicators

They have clarity of thought and it shows in the words they choose, no matter which language those words are in. The confidence that they exude can easily win over hearts. They are logical with the right mix of rationality and emotion. Desirable women don’t overdo it.
They will let you talk, make you feel wanted, hear you with compassion, and show genuineness in their interactions. They know how important it is to be a good communicator and they also know what it takes to be one.
These are some of the characteristics of highly desirable women. Of course, there are many other traits that can be deemed “desirable.” Nevertheless, these are a few characteristics that will always draw us in.
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Friday, January 23, 2015

5 habits of Authentic People


Hey everyone! I came across this awesome guy's channel on youtube and felt INSTANTLY inspired! He's like a Life Guru!! I've learned sooo much from his videos and had many "ah-ha" moments. 

The video you see above I felt would be perfect to share because I feel that ALL OF YOU can relate to this. Nowadays there's so many social media sites where people feel the need to keep posting about their lives and some people even FAKING their "awesome" lifestyles online just to show off to others in order to make themselves feel better...aka INSECURITY. I'm pretty sure you all know at least one person on facebook who keeps showing off their exaggerated lifestyles and solo pictures, better yet, their selfies just to get a whole bunch of likes and attention of course.

There's also pressure from society to look a certain way and act a certain way. I mean of course you have to follow the laws of society but you don't have to follow every trend that's out there! BE YOURSELF!!! You are BeYOUtiful (beautiful)!!! And there is MORE TO LIFE than just going to school and getting a degree. I'm not saying for you to NOT go to school and get a degree but you can do that PLUS more! Like have a business or businesses on the side...master at least 8 streams of income even while you have the College Degree! There are many who have gotten their degree and are STRUGGLING to pay the bills! I know a single mom who's a Registered Nurse making good money, yes, but she's got the mortgage to pay, water, heat, electricity, cable, groceries...you get my drift. She's so bombarded with bills to pay that she can't even go shopping for herself nor take a nice vacation! Pathetic lifestyle if you ask me. 

So what I'm saying here overall is that we need to be courageous enough to BE OURSELVES and stop trying to constantly "fit in" the crowd. I learned that when you feel as though you don't fit in, that's cuz you are OUTSTANDING!!! I mean how awesome is that?! I've learned to embrace feeling and being different from the rest. I know that I was created for a reason and to be outstanding and I am very PROUD of that (I have a Leo Rising btw)!!!

We must also learn to love ourselves! Stop relying on a man or woman to make you happy or feel "complete". Happiness is a choice and it only comes from WITHIN! I was watching Dr. Oz earlier today and Jennifer Lopez, better known as JLo, was a guest on his show and she was authentic as can be. Even before she said this I already knew it all along after hearing millions of stories of her several boyfriends over the years. She said that she learned this the hard way but she learned that she had to love herself. Hopping from one man to another trying to fill in voids was NOT the solution. As a result she kept choosing all the wrong men out there and as many of you have seen, none of those relationships lasted. Her wedding day with Ben Affleck was canceled, her marriage with Marc Anthony was toast and so forth. You have to love yourself FIRST and choose to be happy NOW. Like attracts like thus you will attract a man or woman who is already happy and loves themselves IF, only IF you are the same already. And don't RUSH into a relationship with them, take your time and GET TO KNOW them first!

I hope my words and this video got through to you. This is valuable advice that I was given over the years and it has prevented me from getting into any emotional turmoil. Boy am I super grateful for this! So LOVE YOURSELF, choose to be happy NOW and BE YOURSELF!!! 

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Thursday, November 13, 2014

8 Rules of Engagement for High Value Girlfriends

Most of us were raised to be competitive. We can be fearful and envious of women who get the beauty, the cash, the recognition, the attention and the man.

Ready to let those insecurities go? At some point, you’ve witnessed (or even broken) the Code: the name-calling, the rude behavior, the catty remarks, the sarcastic eye-rolling, the backstabbing, the gossip and the belittling of our sisters.

The high value woman lives by her own code: everything is in abundant supply.

While living in Europe, I noticed an amazing depth to the relationships women had with their girlfriends. I really admired it. I set out to become the woman that women of quality and value would want to be around.

I noticed that once you do, other quality women will find you.

Over the years, I’ve developed my own code to live by. It has helped me live up to the standard I set for my inner circle of girlfriends. There are dozens, but I’ll share eight with you today.

1. Don’t devalue another woman’s success

Don’t knock her success by insinuating she’s slept with someone or did something wrong to get to where she is. Not Cool. Every woman’s success is your success. She’s paving the way for other women to reach higher levels. Celebrate her.

2. Respect her decisions

Keep the judging for the courtroom. It doesn’t belong in your friendship. Even if you think she’s making a big mistake, respect her decision. Besides, you can’t grow without making mistakes. Every woman grows at a different pace. Just be the loving friend who listens and remembers she’s doing the best she can.

3. Don’t use or call women “whore,” “slut,” or “bitch”

There is no excuse for this, no matter what a woman has done. Behind every poor, tacky or wacky action, there is a deep source of pain or a wound you can’t see. Don’t add to it.

4. Share feedback (only when asked) and in a supportive, loving manner

Be honest and don’t hold back. Be straightforward. Come from a place of kindness and compassion. Be supportive and loving by using “I feel” or “I think” not “You should.”

5. Never sleep with her significant other or ex

No ifs, ands, butts, or explanation needed.

6. Don’t steal her shine

Have you ever been in a conversation where one woman tried to one-up another and steal her shine?

If she went to China once, the other woman went their 10 times. If she speaks 3 languages, the other speaks 6. This is just plain immature and shows insecurity.

Let her have her moment in the spotlight.Praise her. Lift her up. Be thankful you have such an amazing woman in your life. Your spotlight moment will come soon. She’ll be there to lift you up when your time comes.

7. Never allow her to talk badly about herself

This is a major pet peeve of mine. I hate it when a girlfriend or client says something not so kind about herself! Call me bossy, but I don’t tolerate it. I tell them it’s NOT okay to abuse MY friend like that. Defend and protect your friend (from herself)!

8. Be vulnerable with her

Opening your heart to someone can lead to pain; it can also be one of the most rewarding things you can do. Trying to keep up a facade is tiring and hard.  One woman can melt hearts, tear down the walls and charm a country with her vulnerability. Why not be the one to set the example?

I personally struggled with vulnerability for years. The moment I ditched the mask and facade of perfectionism, my business grew by leaps and so did my relationships with my girlfriends and family.

Don’t worry if you’re breaking any of these.

No one is perfect. We’ve all broken one (or more) of them. Forgive yourself. Move forward.

Each moment is the perfect time to start over.

Source: http://tinyurl.com/BeHappyForYourGirlfriends

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Thursday, October 16, 2014

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others—and Feel Happier!



"I generally find that comparison is the fast track to unhappiness."
— Jack Canfield

"Women are so unforgiving of themselves. We don't recognize our own beauty because we're too busy comparing ourselves to other people."
— Kelly Osbourne

One of the easiest ways to feel bad about oneself is to compare yourself unfavorably to others. We may be tempted to compare ourselves with those who have more accomplishments, seem more attractive, make more money, or boast more Facebook friends.

When you find yourself envious of what someone else has, and feel jealous, inferior or inadequate as the result, you’re having a negative social comparison moment.

Habitual negative social comparisons can cause a person to experience greater stress, anxiety, depression, and make self-defeating choices.
  
Two interesting notes about negative social comparison:


1.  Negative social comparison has elements of narcissism

When we wish to look, be, or have like others, we’re not really wishing for everything about that person, but only the idealized aspects of the individual. This idealized and grandiose perception of another is narcissistic in nature. Chances are, not even those whom you compare yourself with can live up to your idealized images of them. This is why so often when people spend some length of time with their “heroes,” “heroines,” “role models,” or “idols,” they discover that those whom they look up to also have weaknesses, flaws, difficulties and problems just like everyone else.


2.  It’s relatively easy to change from idealizing to humanizing

For example, you may wish that you have the perfect career and a lot of money like your manager Joe, or the good looks of your friend Kelly, or a wonderful romantic relationship like Samantha. Comparing yourself with them might cause you to feel somehow “lesser.” But when you look at their lives more objectively, you know that Joe has health problems and family issues, Kelly is actually insecure about her looks, and it took Samantha a painful divorce and many hard lessons before she found a compatible mate. Looking at them from a more balanced perspective, you realize there’s more than meets the eye, and that they’re human beings with their own share of challenges like you.
The Buddha reminds us that the four conditions in life which cause suffering are: birth, aging, illness, and death. No one, no matter how powerful, successful, wealthy, or fabulous they seem on the outside, can escape these truths. These conditions effectively make ALL of us equal. What’s left, then, are values which truly make our brief existence on this earth worthwhile: self-acceptance, quality relationships, and a meaningful life’s purpose. For each of these, the answers and our ability to realize them come from WITHIN. No external accomplishments, privileges, entitlements or materialism alone can achieve them. No superficial status, ranks, stations, or possessions are required to realize them.

"Try not to get lost in comparing yourself to others. Discover your gifts and let them shine!" 
— Jennie Finch

"To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself."
― Thich Nhat Hanh

Source: http://tinyurl.com/StopComparingYourselfToOthers

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